So I'm back. It feels good coming back here. A place where I can be myself. Been writing somewhere else for the past few months, a place I need to be positive and inspire others. Don't get me wrong. It was good. To inspire young Malaysians. To share my path to achieve what I've achieved but somehow I feel somewhat not entirely myself. As if I'm pushing only a part of myself to the readers. Only a portion that I'm proud to share with others. So fake. Because theres no such perfect being in this world. I ended up being choked by my own words. It became a burden instead. So I decided to come back writing here. Where it all started. Writing.
I find it amusing. Reading back the threads. Old posts written by me. Feels like I'm reading someone elses life. This naive person. View of the world from his point of view. Made me realised a lot about myself actually. I grew so much. Principles that were once so important and sacred to me now seems to be nothing. Some still planted strong within me. Some, I just couldn't be bothered at all.
Fallen out and in and out of love. Loose a few of good friends here and there. Gained a few more. Gosh, is this really life is? Is this it? endless cycle. I'm so curious of my future really. Don't have to go 4-5 years time. Even the nearest 2-3 years seems to be bleak. I wonder what it'll be like. Hopefully it'll beautiful insyaAllah. Oh well,... gosh felt so good writing this haha. I guess I'm back again :)
bed ridden with a viral fever for the past 4 days seem to be a good day to start writing again. Odd. I know. While shivering under the blanket trying to get some sleep, staring at the ceiling of the room. It got me thinking of those exs, ex bestfriends, ex lovers, ex friends. Whom our ways just parted from each other. How I wish I can get them queue and sort our differences or problems through and live in a world where there wont be any what if's.
It also made me wonder, is it me? or is it them? can't possibly their fault fully can it? and it can;t be fully my fault too right? oh well, however, I don't feel any sense of guilt at all in me. So I guess either way, its good. It happens for a reason (or something that I force myself to believe in).
But, I always believe that our paths will cross each other again (not collide I hope). The next time we meet, lets be nice to each other shall we? World peace.