Fuuh. What a long effing night! Finally I can face my laptop lol. I've come to a realization. It took me 3 years to learn this. One after another. One after another. One after another. Man, sometimes you need a long real life suffering to actually learn something.
Truthfully speaking, I believe that what ever bad things you do now, you will get it back maybe not now but somewhere in the future or maybe in the afterlife. All the pain and misery that I've inflicted on other people long time ago, it's coming back to me now. When I sit down and think quietly again, I think that I'm a horrible person. Heartless. Selfish. I've created sorrow and suffering to other people without even having any mercy on them. Intentionally? Unintentionally? It doesn't matter. What matters is that I hurt them.
It took me great courage to tell them that I'm truly sorry from the very bottom of my heart. I acknowledge my mistakes. I know my wrong doings. All I hope and longing for is forgiveness and to attain peace. What they desire? I will try my best to fulfill.
And to those readers out there that I've hurt you in anyways, maybe sometimes my writing may hit you directly to the chest ke apa-apa ke, I hope you don't take it to your heart personally. I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. Maybe right now I'm not in the stable state of mind to be blogging. Who knows? You never know. So just read and take what you think is useful for you and leave the negatives aside then as different people interpret things differently.
One day I will share this lesson learned of mine. Insyallah