Wednesday, April 4, 2012


Bismillah Al Rahman Al Rahim,

Writing seems to be the best medicine for me right now since I don't see the point of me trying so hard to explain my situation is and no one actually quite give a damn about it. Here, at least, I feel like I can be myself and let loose cause I know I won't receive any reply, wont need to worry on who would wanna read this. Instead, I feel like I'm talking to my other self. Other Aiman, hey you, yes you, I'm talking to you now. Hah, I must be insane right now.

Yes. I know it has been wayyyyy too long since the last time I actually sit down and write my heart out. And yes I do notice that my vocab and grammar is pretty rusty now. I noticed. Its not like I dont care, of course I do, but I just couldnt be fucked at the moment. So I'm gonna give an exception for today.

I'm extremely tired. very exhausted. totally drained. definitely dead beat. awfully worn-out. somewhat fatigue.

Working as an auditor is not easy I tell you. Everyday work from morning till night. Sun rise, sun set, moon rise, moon set. A total madness. Everyday I'm being pushed to do new things, to be in new environment. No time to adapt, to completely understand, to tightly grab the concept. Then I have to move to another new thing. A total nutness.

I'm afraid that I'm all dried up now. I'm afraid that I can't do this anymore.

I think I'm not fit to be in a relationship. Why? Cause I suck at it. Suck at it so bad. Even if I like someone, the fella wouldnt even wanna be with me. I'm just too difficult. Too difficult.

I'm not fit at all

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