Semakin lama masa persinggahan aku di sini, semakin kucar kacir hati dan perasaan aku. Aku bingung. Tidak pernah aku terlepas kuliah walaupun malam-malam gelap gelita aku berjalan seorang diri. Aku katakan lagi, bingung. Bingung kerana aku masih rapuh menggenggam ilmu Advanced Management Costing ini. Bila Prof depan kan soalan, ramai betul pelajar lontarkan pendapat mereka, tak henti-henti. Masing-masing mempertahankan pendapat mereka berdasarkan bukti yang kukuh. Berbeza sungguh. Dulu di Malaysia, semuanya di suapkan. Hanya perlu hafal dan muntahkan balik semuanya dlm peperiksaan.
It's so difficult. Why? Is it because I'm doing something that I'm not fond of? Maybe because I don't check Bloomberg, or check the stock exchange all the time to see any changes in the economic world, I don't analyze the impact on the recent earthquake at Japan how it will effect the world's economy. I never put the effort to at least, keep myself updated with what's happening in this world related to accounting and finance. Does that sums up everything? That I don't have passion for this? That I don't dream like how others dream?
No. I believe that all of us have the same dream. Our dreams are related. The difference between mine and yours is that, I dream to make my parents proud of myself. A dream to make them happy. Dream to put a smile on their faces. Dream to make them for once, to hear them say "I'm proud of you" and the only I can achieve that is, to be a graduate of Bachelor of Commerce, Majoring in Accountancy and Finance. even if I need to forget my own passion.
10 comments:
Firstly, you should be proud because your parents gave you the chance to study overseas.
Aiman tau tak,there are times when kita rasa kita ni asing sgt dengn org. Rasa mcm ketinggalan. Macam bnyk sgt org yg lagi pandai dari kita. Sbb tu kita kena ada effort kita jugak. Allah kan adil,lagi lagi kalau niat kita ikhlas buat ni untuk parents kita, tambah lagi dgn usaha gigih kita sendiri mencuba demi nak senyumkan mak bapak kita jadi tak sia sia dia hantar kita jauh jauh.
Im sure,setiap kesukaran, kebingungan yg Aiman rasa duduk dekat sana, one day benda tu akan turn out to be something beautiful. Look on the bright side, at least you taught urself to be independent. Takde semuanya nak bergantung pada semua org kan :)
About friends, tak semua org kita blh paksa jadi kawan kita. Kalau dia taknak jadi kawan kita, dia yg rugi. Kita tak rugi apa apa. Mgkin there's a reason dia taknak berkawan,and Im sure Allah has the reason why. You just have to believe that good things will come one day,kan :)
waah panjang nye comment namie :)
Dear Namie: Thank you for voicing out ur amazing comfort words. I feel honored to have you stopping by my blog filled with worries and despair.
Anyhow, yeah, I know the solution to it. Sometimes, I need to find comfort and since there is no one here willing to be there for me, Sini jela tempat yang mampu untuk mengadu.
I'm sure one day I will find my ease, one fine day, insyallah, I know.
Thank you again for ur wise words Namie. Same to u too okay! haha
erm...
agak payah kedengaran...
papepon buatla yg terbest
on that...
wishing u a very gud luck...^^
Amin: thank u for the wish
i'll be here whenever u needs me
=).....
chekeduks: thanx. I appreciate that
Aiman, hang in there. The best you can do is to live life to YOUR fullest not others'. Life goes on!
Best kan Priscilla Ahn. Dreammmmm~
Ida: I'm hanging on as much as I can. Sigh. Yeah it is nice. thanx to you! :)
u know aiman... u dont know me pun... but i did read your blog... btw, u know what... that is exactly what i feel when i'm doing degree last year... i just finish it dec last year.. and believe me.. it wont it easy, but, we gonna do it anyway... and yes, i know u can... in fact, u r lucky to study there... i did it in local uni, but, i still proud of it.. =) so, u have it... go for it...
even tu bermakna, u need to work your ass out... =)
btw, i study accounting too... so, go aiman go!
Hikayat: thank u for reading my blog and im so glad that i found someone who knows what it feels to be in my shoes. Yes i figured it out, it wont be easy. rough road awaits up ahead. And yes I will try my best to do this. thank u so much :) thank u
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