Wednesday, October 30, 2013


Bismillah Al Rahman Al Rahim,

You know how you hear on the radio, talk show, telivision or any other media on how you should follow your heart and do what you wanna do in life? Also how you'll regret it if you don't?

I would say that those words are true. Looking at my perspectives, if you really like doing that you want, (applies to anything such as hobbies or what not but mainly on career la) no matter how difficult, no matter how low your pay is, no matter what people would say, you'll love through it. 

I really envy those people who would go for extra miles just for them to get to where they want to. Even getting out from their comfort zone. If any of you happens to fall in this category, you people better be grateful!! 

As for me, I'm trapped. No matter how I look at myself, (ways to get out from this trap) there is no solution to it. Every steps I take will cause major consequences in which I don't think I can afford to have at the moment.

Imagine waking up in the morning. Dragging yourself to work. Telling yourself lies, lies like how much I love doing what I'm doing. It's mentally exhaustive. I don't know how long more I can be in denial.

Sometimes I really can't breath. Feel so chocked by stress and depression. Then the mental vulnerable, it'll spread to my body. Follows with gastric pain and migraine. 

I wish I can find my way out from this slave contract that I got myself into. While waiting for the day to come, the only thing I can do now is, drink coffee and let me zone into my own dream world where happiness seems to be infinite. 


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